Dear Danalissa:

My friend and I are world travelers as you can plainly see in this photograph, and I know that the recent declaration of war on America is terribly frightening and horrible to everyone and I am terribly upset that we were not in the airport when those men boarded the planes that were eventually used to kill all of those innocent people.  If I had been there, I am sure you know what I would have done.  That's right.  I would have eaten them, boxcutters and all.  After all, I have eaten far worse.

Now, I know that it seems unfair that people are called "people" no matter how rotten they might be and I  and my friend, being rather handsome and fetching little guys are called monsters (Oh, pardon me.  My friend would like to point out that he is not a monster, nor is he a duck. Thank you).  The fact of the matter is that I am a Monster.  If you look it up in the Atlas of Monsters, there is a photo of me! And it's rather an honor.  It is like calling a monkey a monkey or a cat a cat.  They are not worried "hey! I am nicer than that crappy person! Why am I not a person?!"  They do not think to themselves "Gee.  I wish I could not be a monkey!  Why do they call me a monkey anyway?!!"  I am what I am.

It is a good thing we snapped this photograph when we did, eh?  I think that if we tried to do it now, someone might try and stop us, even though we were just appreciating the sight of a beautiful, gleaming airplane on a nice morning.
 

With a little bit of retrospect (I am not just a handsome monster:  I am a smart one, to boot!) and time between this hideous act of terrorism, I hope that one day I will not feel the need to chew, just a little, on every person I see at an airport.

Oh, and my friend here would like it mentioned that a Hot Chick Stewardess took this photograph.
 

P.S.  What is a skyworm?
 
 

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